Today we begin a sermon series on Family Living, specifically focusing on the marriage relationship. We’ll be looking at what marriage is from a Biblical perspective and in the following weeks, we’ll tackle some of the difficult issues surrounding marriage, such as divorce and remarriage. We hope this series will provide support, encouragement and a great deal of food for thought!

In the account of creation found in Genesis 2, God placed the man in the Garden of Eden. As God was looking at all He had created, He said this in chapter 2, verse18: “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” And then God went on to create all the living creatures on the earth, “but for Adam, no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He took her to the man.” One commentator has noted that the woman came from the side of the man, not from his head to lord it over him or his feet to be “under” him, but from his side to be his helpmate and companion. And then comes one of the most beautiful promises of Scripture: “For this reason, a man will leave his father and his mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” God created marriage for our good – for companionship, support and procreation, and through the centuries, it has indeed been a good thing – for up until the recent past, living was difficult for people. Husbands, wives and the children from their union had to pitch in and work hard together simply to survive at times. In this country, it’s only been in the past fifty years or so that most people have had any kind of true leisure time. Before, they worked hard six days a week and then on the Sabbath, many families “rested” by going to church, visiting relatives, reading and studying the Bible and other devotional material together. But with the development of people and time-saving machines, we’ve acquired more and more leisure time. Oddly enough, that leisure time often leads to both mom and dad working outside the home longer hours to support all the activities that come with more leisure time! Previously, all that working together promoted close family relationships.

Today, more and more, perhaps because of the pace of our society, families are spending less and less time together and that is causing great stress on marriages and families. Throw into this mix the emphasis on self in our society, and marital unity has been dealt quite a blow.

That’s why it’s important to remember that marriage is a covenant made before God and that it takes three to make a marriage. Both our Responsive Reading and Scripture speak to the importance of having Christ at the center of our relationships. In Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, he begins his instructions on marriage with this verse: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” In a Christian marriage, Christ is the leader, Christ is the head, and both the husband and the wife must submit together, to Him. They must give up their rights, to Him. It is a mutual submission, each one giving up their “rights” to Jesus and turning their relationship over to Him, making Him the head of their relationship. I find it interesting that Paul says wives are to submit to and respect their husbands; but husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. It’s a sacrificial kind of love, isn’t it? A kind of love that gives and gives without thought of getting back. And it places the tone of a marriage squarely on the husband’s shoulders. What a huge responsibility!

Paul does give us some help with that through our Responsive Reading. Listen again to his words said a slightly different way through “The Message”: Read Galatians 5:13-26

Did you ever look closely at a silk thread? It’s made up of many fine strands of silk – if you separate the silk strands, they’re easy to break, but weave them together and you get an almost unbreakable bond. It is in their unity that they find their strength. That’s what a Christian marriage with Christ as the Head looks like. Through Him, husband and wife are bound together; and through Him, they can weather the storms and squalls of life, with each partner contributing their unique, God-given talents and gifts to their relationship, but only if we give up our “rights” to Him.

My husband, Monty, and I married the summer between my Junior and Senior years in seminary. Because I was in seminary, we were required to take premarital courses besides those offered by our church. One of my “instructors” in these courses was the wife of one of my professors. She had a favorite saying, “Divorce is not an option – murder, on the other hand, is a possibility.”

Murder to selfishness, that is! Galatians 2:20 says, “I have been crucified with Christ, therefore I no longer live, Jesus Christ now lives in me.” When we come to Christ, He becomes first in our lives, then other people and THEN us! When we enter into a marriage, again, Jesus needs to come first, then our spouse and lastly, us. I think that’s the hardest thing to remember about marriage – putting Christ and our spouse before us.

We often speak about being “fulfilled”, “complete” in our marriages since we’ve found the perfect partner.

It’s not a matter of finding the perfect partner, but BEING the perfect partner, and the best way to do that is through our commitment to Jesus. And He promises that He’ll help us and work with us in developing that self-less; self-giving kind of love.

In today’s world, self-fulfillment is given such importance that it can affect the unity, the “us-ness” in a marriage. Perhaps you find yourself in a fractured marriage, an injured marriage . .. . perhaps you’ve “lost that lovin’ feelin’” . . . or you’re angry . . .hurt . .. .bitter about your spouse and you’re looking for a way out of the pain.

Maybe you’ve experienced the pain of divorce and aren’t sure how to move forward. Hang on to Jesus, let Him comfort and guide you. “Failure is never final if we begin again with God.” (Our Daily Bread) Don’t ever underestimate His love or His healing power for an individual or a relationship. And please seek help. Come and talk to Dr. Drake, Rev. David, or me. We’re here to help you, please make use of our help. We will also be providing a list of counselors and programs in the February newsletter that can assist you in strengthening your marriage or provide help if you need it.

I often tell the engaged couples I work with that it’s OK to not always like each other, but to remember their commitment, their promise, to love one another

Walter Trobisch wrote “Love is a Feeling to be Learned.”
“Love is a feeling to be learned.
It is tension and fulfillment.
It is deep longing and hostility.
It is gladness and it is pain.
There is not one without the other.
Happiness is only a part of love-this is what has to be learned.
Suffering belongs to love also.
This is the mystery of love, its beauty and its burden.
Love is a feeling to be learned.”

And I think we can learn how to love best by looking to our Savior, Jesus Christ, who sacrificed Himself, His life, because of His love and dedication to us.

Marriages, like the Christian walk, are works in progress. Success in a relationship isn’t determined by how many roses one receives, but how faithful a person is, to Christ and to their spouse.

Psalm 37:23, 24 says, “If the Lord delights in a person’s way He makes his steps firm; though he stumbles, he will not fall, for the Lord will hold him up with His hand.” There is hope because there is Jesus. He will help you remain faithful if you seek Him out and allow Him to work in you and through you. May God bless you and your relationships as you seek to serve Him.

Let us pray: Father of all good things, we thank you for the gift of relationships. Help us to keep You at the center of our lives and our relationships as we seek to serve You. In Jesus’ Name we pray this, Amen.

BENEDICTION: And now, “To Him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before His glorious presence without fault and with great joy, to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, now and forever, Amen.